Really, all that I really want...is just a good one.
I don't need any presents underneath the Christmas tree, so long as I know there are people around me that I love. They are gifts enough.
I don't need the heat of a fire or the warmth in my tummy from hot cocoa. My heart will be warm enough, kindled by the fire of a thousand kindred spirits around the world and right here, feeling exactly the way I feel right now.
I don't need the decorations. Christmas spirit lingers in the air, in the eyes of people that truly know the Reason for the season.
I don't need all the food. My spirit will be full enough, hearing the low hum of hearts rejoicing, seeing more smiles on people's faces...
I don't need all the people, the parties...even though that would be great. 'Cause I finally know the deep, deep love of Jesus; to rest in the arms of His mercy.
26 days till the dawn of Grace.
Really...I just want a good Christmas, whatever that means.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Kazz the 5yr old Spaz.
Kaz is the bomb. Period.
We have a sliding glass door in one of our rooms, and it looks out onto the backyard. Our dog, George, will only go to the backyard if there is someone there. This morning, my mom was in that room like she usually is, and when Kaz woke up, he went straight there. He opened up the glass door and started to play with George. He was petting him and stuff, then right out of the blue, he says to my mother, "George has a wish. He wants to be a people. So that when he grows up he can be my brother." Needless to say, my mom was laughing so hard. :)
Another time, he and George were playing in our garage. Kaz LOVES to talk to George. Last week, they were playing while my dad was clearing up the garage, and Kaz asks George, "Georgie, how old are you?" My dad tells Kaz George is only 3 years old. Kaz then replies, "Oh! That means he needs to be in Mrs. Ignacio's class! And when he's 5, he can be with me in Mrs. Schallhorn's class!!!" He's an awesome kid.
One morning, my mom and I were having breakfast in the dining room. Kaz is bouncing around on our couches while Mom and I were talking. All of a sudden, he stops, looks at me, and asks, "Ruthie, do you cry when you're alone?" And I told him I did. He then responds, "Ok, I'll stay with you, so you won't cry. I don't like it when you cry." Then my mom and I proceeded to bust out laughing, because truly it's Kaz who cries when he is left alone. We thought it was funny that he shifted the need of another person to me....cute kid.
Today we went to PIC to swim. We were playing on the animal slide thingies. Kaz stops to fix his hair and then goes down the slide. Afterward, he fixes his hair again. I accidentally pull him under the water, and he starts freaking out. He looks at me and says, "I just fixed my hair! Now I won't look handsome anymore!" It was so funny.
Some of my favorite things that Kaz does are: whenever I get left alone ('cause I'm delaying and everyone else is ahead) he will ask everyone to stop and wait for me. And how he always sticks up for me. And backs me up. And thinks I'm the coolest, most beautiful ME in the world. And how he always, always, always, without fail makes sure I'm ok, and does whatever he can possible to make sure I'm ok. He'll make me laugh when I'm sad. He'll start crying when I'm crying. He'll get mad at something/someone that has hurt me. He'll do kung fu to George to make sure I can get into the house safely. Kaz is so caring; I love him. He's the best.
All to say, I think it runs in our blood. ;)
We have a sliding glass door in one of our rooms, and it looks out onto the backyard. Our dog, George, will only go to the backyard if there is someone there. This morning, my mom was in that room like she usually is, and when Kaz woke up, he went straight there. He opened up the glass door and started to play with George. He was petting him and stuff, then right out of the blue, he says to my mother, "George has a wish. He wants to be a people. So that when he grows up he can be my brother." Needless to say, my mom was laughing so hard. :)
Another time, he and George were playing in our garage. Kaz LOVES to talk to George. Last week, they were playing while my dad was clearing up the garage, and Kaz asks George, "Georgie, how old are you?" My dad tells Kaz George is only 3 years old. Kaz then replies, "Oh! That means he needs to be in Mrs. Ignacio's class! And when he's 5, he can be with me in Mrs. Schallhorn's class!!!" He's an awesome kid.
One morning, my mom and I were having breakfast in the dining room. Kaz is bouncing around on our couches while Mom and I were talking. All of a sudden, he stops, looks at me, and asks, "Ruthie, do you cry when you're alone?" And I told him I did. He then responds, "Ok, I'll stay with you, so you won't cry. I don't like it when you cry." Then my mom and I proceeded to bust out laughing, because truly it's Kaz who cries when he is left alone. We thought it was funny that he shifted the need of another person to me....cute kid.
Today we went to PIC to swim. We were playing on the animal slide thingies. Kaz stops to fix his hair and then goes down the slide. Afterward, he fixes his hair again. I accidentally pull him under the water, and he starts freaking out. He looks at me and says, "I just fixed my hair! Now I won't look handsome anymore!" It was so funny.
Some of my favorite things that Kaz does are: whenever I get left alone ('cause I'm delaying and everyone else is ahead) he will ask everyone to stop and wait for me. And how he always sticks up for me. And backs me up. And thinks I'm the coolest, most beautiful ME in the world. And how he always, always, always, without fail makes sure I'm ok, and does whatever he can possible to make sure I'm ok. He'll make me laugh when I'm sad. He'll start crying when I'm crying. He'll get mad at something/someone that has hurt me. He'll do kung fu to George to make sure I can get into the house safely. Kaz is so caring; I love him. He's the best.
All to say, I think it runs in our blood. ;)
Your Love Keeps Lifting Me Higher
"Lord, I'm all in. Let's do this. I don't want control over my life. All that I have, all that I am, it's all Yours.
Take the sin that makes me human, and purify it. Cleanse me. I want to be right with You. All the bitterness and hatred, it's Yours to cover with Your healing. All the lying and unkind words, it's Yours to cover with Your gentleness. All the pride and self-righteousness, it's Yours to cover with Your humility. All the shame and the guilt, it's Yours to cover with Your acceptance. I don't want to live in sin. I want my heart to beat like Yours and be with Yours.
Take my life and use it however You please. I will go to the ends of the earth, the depths of the sea, the heights of the mountains...what ever it takes. I want You to use my life in a way that will show the world how much I love You and the awe-striking glory that You are. I want to be known as a consecrated, committed child of God.
Take my heart that longs for fulfillment aside from you. Bind it to Your heart. I want to feel the warmth of Your everlasting love. I want to be so lost in the vast oceans of Your mercies. Keep my heart in Yours. I want You to have my whole heart, not the bits and pieces. I want to have a heart after Your heart. Lord, what breaks Your heart, I want it to break mine; what angers Your heart, I want it to anger mine; what delights Your heart, I want my heart to be overflowing with joy.
Heart and soul, I'm Yours."
God came down and walked beside me. God came down to remind me...this is what it feels like to be loved.
Take the sin that makes me human, and purify it. Cleanse me. I want to be right with You. All the bitterness and hatred, it's Yours to cover with Your healing. All the lying and unkind words, it's Yours to cover with Your gentleness. All the pride and self-righteousness, it's Yours to cover with Your humility. All the shame and the guilt, it's Yours to cover with Your acceptance. I don't want to live in sin. I want my heart to beat like Yours and be with Yours.
Take my life and use it however You please. I will go to the ends of the earth, the depths of the sea, the heights of the mountains...what ever it takes. I want You to use my life in a way that will show the world how much I love You and the awe-striking glory that You are. I want to be known as a consecrated, committed child of God.
Take my heart that longs for fulfillment aside from you. Bind it to Your heart. I want to feel the warmth of Your everlasting love. I want to be so lost in the vast oceans of Your mercies. Keep my heart in Yours. I want You to have my whole heart, not the bits and pieces. I want to have a heart after Your heart. Lord, what breaks Your heart, I want it to break mine; what angers Your heart, I want it to anger mine; what delights Your heart, I want my heart to be overflowing with joy.
Heart and soul, I'm Yours."
God came down and walked beside me. God came down to remind me...this is what it feels like to be loved.
Conversations
--I am sitting on the lanai of the Family Life Center, sick as can be. The sky is a blazing pink and orange slowly fading up to a deep blue yonder. Thoughts swirling through my head at dizzying speeds. Fatigue crawling through my skin. A faint rustling sound is heard in the still, solemn silence of the wind. I look into the depths of the sunset......
My stomach drops. I feel sick. Slowly, I ease myself down so that I am looking straight up into the starlit sky. A peace falls over me. The thoughts come to a halt. I hear a still, small voice...
"Ruthie, what is it that you really want?"
-To be loved, Lord. That's what I really want.
"Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us, and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins." (1 John 4:10)
"What else, Ruthie? I know there's more."
-To be accepted, Father, I want to be accepted.
"...Wherein He hath made us accepted in the beloved..." (Ephesians 1:6)
"Am I enough for you?"
-You are my Shepherd. I shall not want. (Ps 23:1)
"Can you live this life without Me?"
-My flesh and my heart faileth, but You are the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Ps 73:26)
"Do people mean more to you than I do, Ruthie?"
-...Whom have I in heaven but Thee? There is none upon the earth that I desire beside Thee. (Ps 73:25)
"Where is your heart?"
-Far away from the shores of Your heart, Father.
"Ruthie, where is your heart?"
-No longer lost in the vast oceans of Your mercies.
"Where should your heart be?"
-In Your presence is fulness of joy. (Ps 16:11)
My stomach drops. I feel sick. Slowly, I ease myself down so that I am looking straight up into the starlit sky. A peace falls over me. The thoughts come to a halt. I hear a still, small voice...
"Ruthie, what is it that you really want?"
-To be loved, Lord. That's what I really want.
"Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us, and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins." (1 John 4:10)
"What else, Ruthie? I know there's more."
-To be accepted, Father, I want to be accepted.
"...Wherein He hath made us accepted in the beloved..." (Ephesians 1:6)
"Am I enough for you?"
-You are my Shepherd. I shall not want. (Ps 23:1)
"Can you live this life without Me?"
-My flesh and my heart faileth, but You are the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Ps 73:26)
"Do people mean more to you than I do, Ruthie?"
-...Whom have I in heaven but Thee? There is none upon the earth that I desire beside Thee. (Ps 73:25)
"Where is your heart?"
-Far away from the shores of Your heart, Father.
"Ruthie, where is your heart?"
-No longer lost in the vast oceans of Your mercies.
"Where should your heart be?"
-In Your presence is fulness of joy. (Ps 16:11)
Sunday, October 3, 2010
This is pathetic.
You know what is sad? The fact that the last time I blogged was in AUGUST! What happened to when I used to blog at least once a day. Now we're lucky if I even think about blogging! Well, I have thought about it, but...I've never got around to it ok? (Haha, Nacho Libre reference)
Notes:
1. Anyway, I really don't have Graphic Design during my eighth hour; I was able to get into Internship, which I enjoy lots!
2. I'm sorry that Twitter keeps asking my visitors to sign in. I decided, for privacy issues, to put my tweets on private.
3. I know I am acting as if the whole world reads my blogs, so please forgive me if I am overstating my following. :)
What's new?
Academically
I have never been busier during a school year than I have been this year! It's insane! I have projects and papers and book reports due left and right, and many times I have no idea where to start! But God gives so much grace! My one academic goal that I had to start off the year was that I was going to turn in all of my assignments in on time. I have now expanded my one goal into THREE!
1. Turn in all assignments in on time.
So far so good.
2. Make wise use of my time (i.e. work ahead)
3. Aim for the Principal's list award (e.g. a 97% or above average in every class)
We will see. Report cards come out in three weeks, I think?
I had a spiritual update to add to this....but there is no resolution at the end, and I can't bear posting something with no resolving ending.
Notes:
1. Anyway, I really don't have Graphic Design during my eighth hour; I was able to get into Internship, which I enjoy lots!
2. I'm sorry that Twitter keeps asking my visitors to sign in. I decided, for privacy issues, to put my tweets on private.
3. I know I am acting as if the whole world reads my blogs, so please forgive me if I am overstating my following. :)
What's new?
Academically
I have never been busier during a school year than I have been this year! It's insane! I have projects and papers and book reports due left and right, and many times I have no idea where to start! But God gives so much grace! My one academic goal that I had to start off the year was that I was going to turn in all of my assignments in on time. I have now expanded my one goal into THREE!
1. Turn in all assignments in on time.
So far so good.
2. Make wise use of my time (i.e. work ahead)
3. Aim for the Principal's list award (e.g. a 97% or above average in every class)
We will see. Report cards come out in three weeks, I think?
I had a spiritual update to add to this....but there is no resolution at the end, and I can't bear posting something with no resolving ending.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Favorite FB statuses ever.
July 20, 2010
"I love my job!!! Other people may think differently, but...I have been secretly wanting to work housekeeping at Harvest since I was 7! :D Oh, I finished the book, Bryce Collier. Percy and Annabeth!!! At the end!!! Eeeee!!! :D"
June 26, 2010
"I am amazed at some people's incapability to spell. One day, I will teach spelling class."
June 16, 2010
"Does it bother anyone else when people try to share their thoughts on Facebook through notes, but they completely fail grammatically? It totally distracts me, and I can't refocus to read their message. D: I feel bad...:)"
June 5, 2010
"Does anyone else get scared that the person is offended (angry or upset) when they use ellipses too much?"
May 28, 2010
"Ok, I love how there are many sides of summer. Today was the play in the water, laugh as much as possible, watch other people slather on tons of sunscreen (because I don't wear sunscreen ;D), and slide down the humongous water slide till your skin is wrinkly kind of day!!!!"
May 20, 2010
"So, Asia Elaine Oshiro and I were trying to cook corned beef for breakfast. You'd think that since we're part of the generation that's known to be "tech-savvy," we'd be able to open the can of corned beef. Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong wrong WRONG. We totally FAILED and ended up having to scoop most of it through the little slit we opened...:("
April 19, 2010
"It really irks me when people are incapable of original thought and continuously quote other people. Usually my first reaction, whether right or wrong, is to wonder whether they take the time to read books that aren't watered down to help "my generation" understand English. Ridiculous."
March 28, 2010
"Even though my hair looks wild, I praise God for all the baby hairs that have been growing!!! I feel so blessed to have gone through losing my hair and having it grow back! God has taught be a lot about trusting in Him and acceptance in Him. It is so easy to feel insecure when your hair is falling out! :)"
January 30, 2010
"I was at Ross the other day, and I noticed this empty cabinet. I thought it was completely made of glass. I thought that I saw this girl looking at me through the cabinet. I tried not to make eye contact with her, 'cause I didn't want to be rude. Then I realized that the cabinet is actually made out of mirrors! The girl I was trying to avoid eye contact with was me. I felt embarrassed for myself. It was pretty funny."
January 27, 2010
"Miss French says I am a good example of the word "demonstrative." Meaning: "characterized by or given to open exhibition or expression of one's emotions, attitudes, etc., esp. of love or affection." I think this is true. :D That word, and sentimentality."
October 23, 2009
""Just suppose, Could it be? Dear God, is Magnolia Alexander the answer to the countless prayers I've prayed under the prairie stars?" I love this book! :D"
October 18, 2009
"Thank you to everyone who prayed for me!! I don't have lupus, diabetes or leukemia! I have healthy red blood cells, enough white blood cells and correct levels of vitamins and sugar!! I am just lacking in vitamin D, which can be fixed by more time in Guam's hot hot sun! :D Eeee! I'm so happy. :D Thank you, Lord!!"
September 22, 2009
"Ok, I'm reading the fourth book in the Percy Jackson and The Olympians series, and in each book I've read, I've found at least one spelling error, grammar mistake, or word swap. This is nuts!"
September 1, 2009
"I think God chose it to be "Make Ruthie Cry Because She's Absolutely in Awe of Me" day today for Himself, because today was totally a I feel like crying because I'm so in awe of God kind of day"
August 22, 2009
"I added Photo Booth to my dock on my Macbook...it's really bugging my OCD, because everything else on my dock is in the color scheme of blue, white and silver. This red and black thing is totally clashing. D:"
Ok, I'm kinda tired of scrolling through old stuff. :D Hope you laughed. :D
"just for kicks and giggles!" haha
"I love my job!!! Other people may think differently, but...I have been secretly wanting to work housekeeping at Harvest since I was 7! :D Oh, I finished the book, Bryce Collier. Percy and Annabeth!!! At the end!!! Eeeee!!! :D"
June 26, 2010
"I am amazed at some people's incapability to spell. One day, I will teach spelling class."
June 16, 2010
"Does it bother anyone else when people try to share their thoughts on Facebook through notes, but they completely fail grammatically? It totally distracts me, and I can't refocus to read their message. D: I feel bad...:)"
June 5, 2010
"Does anyone else get scared that the person is offended (angry or upset) when they use ellipses too much?"
May 28, 2010
"Ok, I love how there are many sides of summer. Today was the play in the water, laugh as much as possible, watch other people slather on tons of sunscreen (because I don't wear sunscreen ;D), and slide down the humongous water slide till your skin is wrinkly kind of day!!!!"
May 20, 2010
"So, Asia Elaine Oshiro and I were trying to cook corned beef for breakfast. You'd think that since we're part of the generation that's known to be "tech-savvy," we'd be able to open the can of corned beef. Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong wrong WRONG. We totally FAILED and ended up having to scoop most of it through the little slit we opened...:("
April 19, 2010
"It really irks me when people are incapable of original thought and continuously quote other people. Usually my first reaction, whether right or wrong, is to wonder whether they take the time to read books that aren't watered down to help "my generation" understand English. Ridiculous."
March 28, 2010
"Even though my hair looks wild, I praise God for all the baby hairs that have been growing!!! I feel so blessed to have gone through losing my hair and having it grow back! God has taught be a lot about trusting in Him and acceptance in Him. It is so easy to feel insecure when your hair is falling out! :)"
January 30, 2010
"I was at Ross the other day, and I noticed this empty cabinet. I thought it was completely made of glass. I thought that I saw this girl looking at me through the cabinet. I tried not to make eye contact with her, 'cause I didn't want to be rude. Then I realized that the cabinet is actually made out of mirrors! The girl I was trying to avoid eye contact with was me. I felt embarrassed for myself. It was pretty funny."
January 27, 2010
"Miss French says I am a good example of the word "demonstrative." Meaning: "characterized by or given to open exhibition or expression of one's emotions, attitudes, etc., esp. of love or affection." I think this is true. :D That word, and sentimentality."
October 23, 2009
""Just suppose, Could it be? Dear God, is Magnolia Alexander the answer to the countless prayers I've prayed under the prairie stars?" I love this book! :D"
October 18, 2009
"Thank you to everyone who prayed for me!! I don't have lupus, diabetes or leukemia! I have healthy red blood cells, enough white blood cells and correct levels of vitamins and sugar!! I am just lacking in vitamin D, which can be fixed by more time in Guam's hot hot sun! :D Eeee! I'm so happy. :D Thank you, Lord!!"
September 22, 2009
"Ok, I'm reading the fourth book in the Percy Jackson and The Olympians series, and in each book I've read, I've found at least one spelling error, grammar mistake, or word swap. This is nuts!"
September 1, 2009
"I think God chose it to be "Make Ruthie Cry Because She's Absolutely in Awe of Me" day today for Himself, because today was totally a I feel like crying because I'm so in awe of God kind of day"
August 22, 2009
"I added Photo Booth to my dock on my Macbook...it's really bugging my OCD, because everything else on my dock is in the color scheme of blue, white and silver. This red and black thing is totally clashing. D:"
Ok, I'm kinda tired of scrolling through old stuff. :D Hope you laughed. :D
"just for kicks and giggles!" haha
Thursday, August 5, 2010
And so it is.
As far as I know, I will be staying home till school starts. This whole summer that hasn't happened! I've spent 11 weeks at Harvest, either helping at Cool School or working Housekeeping. And I have loved every second of it.
*sigh* Here's my schedule!
1-Psychology/speech
2-MWF: Modern Literature/TTH: Guam History
3-
4-World Literature
5-
6-Lunch
7-
8-Graphic Design
Um, I really can't remember the blank spots, but I am also taking Honors English, Government and Economics, and Life Skills. I just don't remember what time those classes are :D
What I'm really excited about is that the book I decided to read "for fun" on Monday turns out to be the first book we'll be reading in World Literature. Something else that is exciting is that I found out today that I've already read most of the books we're going to be reading in Modern Literature. Whoo-hoo! I'm honestly really ecstatic!
OH! :D And guess what! I was asked to work extended care for the the preschoolers this year! :D I'm happy!!! I was praying that I would be able to work extended care this year! I used to work with those kids during my sophomore year, but for some reason, none of the high schoolers were able to work this past year...which is why I'm very thankful I can work this year! :D And I'll be working every afternoon except for Thursdays because....
I'll be in the play this fall! We're doing a production of Hillbilly Wedding, which is actually very funny. :D I'm the mama :D
If anyone was wondering why I never really include other people's names on my blog, it's more for their privacy. I wouldn't feel comfortable about someone talking about me on his/her blog without my permission. Just saying. :D
I'm thrilled that school is starting up soon! :D
I have just ONE academic goal this year. I WILL TURN IN EVERYTHING ON TIME. :D
*sigh* Here's my schedule!
1-Psychology/speech
2-MWF: Modern Literature/TTH: Guam History
3-
4-World Literature
5-
6-Lunch
7-
8-Graphic Design
Um, I really can't remember the blank spots, but I am also taking Honors English, Government and Economics, and Life Skills. I just don't remember what time those classes are :D
What I'm really excited about is that the book I decided to read "for fun" on Monday turns out to be the first book we'll be reading in World Literature. Something else that is exciting is that I found out today that I've already read most of the books we're going to be reading in Modern Literature. Whoo-hoo! I'm honestly really ecstatic!
OH! :D And guess what! I was asked to work extended care for the the preschoolers this year! :D I'm happy!!! I was praying that I would be able to work extended care this year! I used to work with those kids during my sophomore year, but for some reason, none of the high schoolers were able to work this past year...which is why I'm very thankful I can work this year! :D And I'll be working every afternoon except for Thursdays because....
I'll be in the play this fall! We're doing a production of Hillbilly Wedding, which is actually very funny. :D I'm the mama :D
If anyone was wondering why I never really include other people's names on my blog, it's more for their privacy. I wouldn't feel comfortable about someone talking about me on his/her blog without my permission. Just saying. :D
I'm thrilled that school is starting up soon! :D
I have just ONE academic goal this year. I WILL TURN IN EVERYTHING ON TIME. :D
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