First Day.

Around this time of year, I get all these weird, jittery feelings about the first day of school. And I get this knowing feeling that I will be exactly the way I've always been on that day. For those of you who have had me in some of your classes, you know. I get really teacher's pet-like. I do all the errands, all the time, for every little thing. I raise my hand for everything. I volunteer for everything. I answer all the questions. Everything. At least for the first couple of months. 

I don't know why I get like that, but I know I do. I even get jealous when the teacher starts picking someone else other than me. And I hold these mini-grudges. It gets pretty ridiculous. I show up on the first day, and purposely seem intimidating, like I know exactly who I am and what I want and I am going to do exactly what it takes to get what I want. This is the bratty Ruthie. It is! I'm not even lying!!  

I used to do it for ACB too! When I was in jr high, I was like one of the only girls on my ACB team. I would go and like be the ditziest one there. I would say these really off the wall things. It was actually really funny to think about. Then when we would sit down and actually challenge each other. I would say my name like I meant business, and then totally own the other team. My favorite part was afterward, we would stand up and shake hands, and I loved seeing the look on the other team's faces after our team beat theirs. They would be so shocked!! Especially because a lot of times, I answered a lot of the questions in the round! Oh it was such a good feeling. :) 

So that is Ruthie being a brat. :D 

Something I don't hear anymore.

I love you too.

Wow, I miss it.

I feel like...nobody tells me that anymore.

I say I love you, but whoever I say that to is so quick to leave that they don't even hear it...

So I never am told I am loved too.

It kinda makes me want to cry.

Like right now.

I kinda want to cry.

Missing out.

I was just looking through people's pictures of this summer on Facebook...I'm in some of them, but I don't remember. I know I was there, but why doesn't it feel like it?

I feel like I've missed out on this whole summer. Like I was there in body, but neither in heart nor spirit. I don't know why. This has only occurred to me now. 

I realized that I barely know the camp team this year. I don't have many memories of either Cool School or Camp. I'm not in on any of the new inside jokes. I wasn't there for any of the interesting things that happened this summer. It's weird. I've always had these things--known the camp team, been at Cool School and Camp, had inside jokes, and have been there for all and any of the interesting things that happen during the summertime at Harvest. 

So I wonder...

Where have I been?

I figured it out.

I didn't want to talk, because people got fed up with me talking. I was frustrated because now that I really rather would not talk, people want me to talk. And honestly, I don't think that I have to, unless it concerns them or if I really wanted to. Force isn't an option.

These past couple of weeks all I really wanted was someone just to listen. But what I'm asking for, I know that it sounds selfish, is someone to just listen and not say anything. I don't want their opinion or their advice or even anything good they have to say. I just want someone to hear me out until I'm done saying all that I have to say. That's when I'll talk. 

For me, I know what the right thing to do is. Sometimes I do need to be reminded.

Other times?

I just want someone to listen.

And for a lot of other people, I'm sure this holds true.

Wish list.

I had to add this in before I went to bed, because I'm a brat that likes to announce to the world everything she wants. :D

1. Wild Honeysuckle body cream. I will run out before mom goes back to the States in a couple of months.

2. I think I had more. But my mind just went totally blank. I must be tired. More later on this one too.

Hey y'all. ;)

Well, I just wanted to let everyone know that my fever has pretty much subsided. Headache is gone! Appetite is back...relatively. I can eat like a cup of food, but that's kind of already pushing it. I still cough like something fierce. Make me laugh, and you'll help me out. Seriously. :) My lips are chapped so bad, because I can't breathe through my nose, but I don't want to use any of my chap stick for fear of infecting it. My nose still runs (my feet don't smell). :D So that's all good.

I tried to take the medicinal taste off of my tongue, but I think I tried to hard, because sometimes I can't feel my tongue. I'm taking like children's medicine, and it's like the kind that makes you sleepy. It does make me sleepy, but it's super weak, and it gives me weird dreams. I'll have to tell that story another time. 

Oh yeah. Did I tell you guys that I like got super sick when I was Vegas? Well, it was bad. It's kind of a graphic story, but you know, I'm almost pretty sure I could have died. Thank the Lord for gag reflexes. Alrighty. I'm off to bed. I'm super tired. 

I'm going to go dream about my ladybug sister and my castle infected with an illness. :)

More later. :D Hope you guys are doing good. 

Hey. New question.

What's God doing in your life? Tell me. Tell me. I want to know. 

Poor, ungrateful child.

That is me. It is. 

I'm cleaning my room right now. 

And...

I have enough clothes in my wardrobe to dress 5 girls, like they can share my wardrobe, and we would still have plenty of options. Perks of being an only child? I guess. I don't get hand-me downs. What I do get:

TONS.

AND 

TONS.

OF LAUNDRY.

Which I do myself.

And the ironing.

SO maybe I'm not ungrateful. 

just spoiled, unintentionally. 

List Cross-off Time!!

This is from my 2nd list of a hundred things.

#22: Leave Harvest/

Camp pics.

I wish these were mine, but I'm so bad at taking pictures. Yeah, I realize they all have me in it, but this is my blog. I can do what I want. Deal with it.

How about this one.

"Never regret anything, because at one point in your life it was exactly what you wanted."

Thoughts?

Recovering.

My fever's gone down to almost not a fever anymore. My head still feels really heavy, and I can barely eat any real food. I'm incredibly tired and lazy.

Speaking of lazy, something must have happened the last quarter of school, because I just realized that I never turned in my elective sheet and I never did the thing I was supposed to do if I wanted to join yearbook. And I really, honestly doubt that I'm going to go out for basketball this year. 

So basically, I'm assuming I'm in the regular English class with really lame electives like ESL tutor and no after school activities other than work and drama. Hopefully I'm in Consumers Math, because I think I will die if I had to take Pre Cal this year. At least, in the very least, I'm still on Student Life Council. Joy.

Sick!

So, I had to leave camp a day early because I got sick. I have a fever. It was totally worse this morning, but my fever is slowly going down. I don't like being sick. It was weird, everyday of camp like three people had to go home. Everyone just kept getting sick. It was sad. :(

I'm drinking calamansi juice. It's super good. I love when Dad makes it. This batch is kind of sour, though...blehhh. So hopefully I get better soon, because being sick is muy horrible. :P

Camp.

I'm off to camp in a few minutes. :)

We'll see what I learned.

Updates LATER!

See ya, folks. :D

Jet Lag.

So it's about 230 right now, and I can't go to sleep. I'm exhausted. I really am; I just can't go to bed. I don't know what else to say. I think I'm going to try to go to bed. I have to pack for camp, but I'm lazy.

Ha.

Ha.

What's new? 

In Narita airport right now. Thanks for the feedback about my little poem thingy. :) Y'all are sweet. Anyway, since I know I do have regular readers, I would like your thoughts on this quote.
 

"A writer is only as good as her experience."

 

I don't remember where I heard it, but I would like to know if you agree or not and why!

Thanks, guys!

I often wonder.

Will you still love me then?

Will you still love me then like you love me now?

When old age has overcome me,

The fire in my eyes has dwindled,

And the rose from my cheek has faded?

Will there still be something in me that you admire?

Will you still see through me, into me?

And see the girl that you did love?

Will you love me still?

'Tis the showers of Spring.

My life is still young.

Will you love me in the falling leaves of Autumn?

The vivacity, fervor, and intensity of youth will not last,

But I often wonder,

If your love will.

Quiet my doubts, dearest,

So that I wonder no more.

I was at an assisted living home tonight, and there was this sweet, old couple there. Whenever I see old couples like that, it makes me think about their love. It makes me wonder about the intensity of their love, how they lasted for so long, and why they have. Things like that. They kind of inspired me to write this. It's not very good. It flows kind of funny, but hey, it's what was on my heart when I was imagining myself to be the lady when she was still young.

Honestly.

Sometimes it's hard to have grown up so fast and so early.

I feel like someone else trapped in a young girl's body.

I want so badly to come out of my cocoon.

Spread my wings.

And fly.

Maybe I'll turn out to be the beautiful person I wish I was.

Confessions of a Sh.

I'm sitting here on this bed at like 3 in the morning. I watched Confessions of a Shopaholic like just now, er I just finished watching it. I liked it. Only one person will understand why I didn't finish the title. :D

It made me think of how every girl has insecurities like Rebecca in the movie. I tried to think of how the movie was relevant to me, but I couldn't think of anything as specific as being a shopaholic. But a lot of things she said about shopping, I know that there is something to every girl that's like that. How we keep going back to something because it makes our "world brighter." Well, I can totally verify that statement. 

It's like this. In every girl's heart there's a little spot that we try to fill up. For some girls, they fill it up with a boy's attention. Or shopping. Or chowing down seriously on food. Or hurting themselves. Or self-expression i.e. writing, playing songs, art, etc. There are many, many ways to do this. All I know is that this emptiness is all rooted from the same thing. Insecurity. How do you win a girl's heart? You make her feel loved, beautiful, wanted and accepted. (I've heard the guy version of this is respecting him, submitting, I dunno! I'm not a boy! hah) 

Anyway, this is why a lot of girls hurt. This is why a lot of girls go crazy, and I mean cuh-razy. You've seen it. I'm sure. I don't even have to explain myself. Don't understand? Go rent some chick flick in the video store. There is going to be a really obsessed girl who will do anything in her power to get exactly what she wants, no matter the sacrifice. I guarantee you. It hurts my heart seeing girls like that. Why? Because I know exactly what she wants. Like I said, every girl wants to be loved. That's why we spend hours getting dressed, putting on make-up, and fixing our hair. We do things so totally out of the way to get people's attention. It's true. One way or another, it is. 

So when we do get something that fills up that hole in our hearts, as temporary as it may be, it gives us a rush. The world does seem brighter. Really. It does. I know it. I've seen it. I've experienced it. Your dreams are sweeter. Your outlook on life is more beautiful. Depending on what your hole-filler is, this feeling lasts for awhile. But at the end of the day, when your head hits your pillow, there it is. The aching empty feeling. It's a feeling that overwhelms any and all of the "bright" feelings you may have had that day. You lay there empty. And once again, you cry yourself to sleep hoping that tomorrow will come sooner and that there will be another "next big thing" to fill the hole in your heart.

BUT

I don't go to sleep like that anymore. Not in a very, very long time. Why? Because I've learned what fills that hole in my heart. I've learned what fits exactly in that place. And I've also learned what to call that hole. It's a part of me, a part of my heart that is my God-shaped hole. I'm sure if you've been reading my blog long enough, you've heard me say that before, but I'm going to explain it now. 

My God-Shaped Hole

I've filled that hole, with...you guessed it, God. Sound cheesy? Maybe to you. 

Stop. 

Listen. 

Do you hear it? It doesn't sound cheesy to me at all. It's called: Unconditional love. Can't hear it? That's probably because you've never met Love. I've met Love, and I've been changed ever since. God is Love. (1 John 4:8) 

My God makes me whole. 

"God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain. But He did promise strength for the day, comfort for tears, and light for the way."

That's what my day looks like. Overflowing with God's grace. 

I don't need a bright day.

I just need Jesus. 

Eternity is brighter with a life like mine.

Thanks, Luke.

So Luke is officially my 200th hit on my blog. :D

And we suppose that he is also the first.

Thanks, Luke. 

Here's to you,

For the second time on this thing. 

Testify.

I am Lydia's granddaughter. The spitting image of my father.  And when the day is done, my momma's still my biggest fan. Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy, but I've got friends that love me. And they know just where I stand. It's all a part of me and who I am. 

I love this song. I'm just not Rosemary's granddaughter. :)

Anyway, this day's been pretty rough. I don't even know where to begin. Sometimes it's sad that I'm so sentimental, but the memories I've got, they're good ones. They teach me a lot. My favorite quote is You live and you learn. Have I lived? Yes. Have I learned? Still in the process. This past week has taught me a lot. I've had moments full of laughter, joy and love and other moments full of tears, heartache, and disappointment, but through it all, God's been good. God's wisdom is so high above anything I could conjure up. His love for me even when I fail has been so overwhelming. It's been so humbling to see Him work in my life and in the lives of the people I love in huge ways. 

This summer has been a growing summer, that's for sure. The waves have been rough and uneasy, but God is my rock, my sure foundation in the midst of uncertainty. He stays the same in my ever-changing world. People dear to my heart can tell me that they love me, but their love, as mine too, is human love. It cannot fill up the emptiness in my God-shaped hole. It cannot quench the perpetual desire to be accepted for who I am, totally and completely. 

However. God's love can do all those things. God's love can do even more than that. God's love covers the most guilty sinner. God's love heals the most broken heart. God's love overwhelms the proud and humbles them to see His awe-striking glory. God's love brings together fellow Christians and keeps relationships together. God's love gets me through the day; all day, everyday.

"As long as I shall live, I will testify to Love." 

This next month is going to fly. Sure it'll be hard, but I have this feeling that it's going to go fast. All I want for God to do is to continue to break my foolish pride, to bring me on my knees everyday in awe of my great God, to show me great and mighty things, and to show me His glory. I want to learn a lot in these next weeks, so that when that day comes, I will be the Ruth Anne God wants me to be at that moment in time. I want to be all of me, a version of me I will be proud of. I want to stand there on that day knowing fully that it's God who's brought me that far, not anything that I nor anyone else has done. I want to be standing right in the center of God's will resting assured that this is exactly where He wants me to be doing exactly what I should be doing. 

I'm going to have to lay aside many weights, and it's going to hurt. Why? Because they are words, actions, thoughts, and longings that I've held close to my heart. They mean something to me. They give me comfort and hope when the world seems bleak and dreary. But that isn't what it should be. Jesus should be my all in all. My comfort when I'm hurting. My hope when I feel drained. My love when I feel forgotten. This is how I want it to be. So help me God.

So when I stop and remember all my fond memories of the past week: laughing deliriously in the wee hours of the morning, freaking out watching imaginary shadows creep across the lawn, getting all OCD about cleaning light fixtures, falling asleep to cutesy girly movies, munching on puppy chow :), having intense prayer sessions and oversleeping, and other things of the like. We probably don't need me to list out every little thing, as much as I'd like to. When I stop and remember, you know what I see? I see growing people. I see loved ones living in the light of God's glory. And you know what that does to me? It makes me want to stay there watching forever. What's the reality? Life goes on. But guess what? God's joy is more delightful than a good week with the two people that mean the most to me. What does that mean? It means that I don't have to physically be with you guys. Love transcends time and space. :) It means that God has a life for us to live and things He wants us to learn. If that makes any sense at all.

Thanks for a good week. Yes, even all the not so good stuff. 

You live and you l e a r n.

Day:

66. This isn't today. But it's significant anyway. 

Right now? Day 73. I could be wrong.

I can't count, remember?

Part of a miracle.

I feel like my work here is done. Like I said in the previous blog, all that I wanted to happen; all that I wanted to get; all that I wanted to see; all that I wanted to do, has happened; I've gotten; I've seen; and I've done. :) 

1. Met with family.

2. Went shopping. 

3. Spent heaps of money at Old Navy and Bath and Body Works.

4. Stayed with the Gieses.

5. Had everything "else" turn out how we've been praying for the past year.

God is good. 

I just want to go home.

I am homesick.

I want to go home. Really, really bad. We're in Las Vegas for another couple of days. We leave the States on Sunday at noon. I can't wait. I want to fall asleep for a really long time on my bed, in a room that's all my own. Everything that I've wanted while we were over here, I've already gotten or experienced. This just shows me that I really do love Guam, more than I thought I did. 

It was hard to leave. Definitely as hard as I thought it was going to be. It's difficult consciously leaving people you love. 

Here's a good quote.

"Women are like teabags. We don't know our true strength until we are in hot water!"-Eleanor Roosevelt 

For a girl and a tea lover, I get this statement. It makes me wonder how strong of a woman I am. 

More updates.

Hey, Haze, thanks for the updates...sort of. Not sort of thank you, just sort of updates, if that makes any sense. I'll be in LA again sometime in the 20s of July. :) Hope you're having fun.

Well, I don't really know what else to write, but I'm getting uneasy to leave this place. I love it here so much. It's not the same kind of love for the place that I have about Guam, but I do love being here. I don't want to leave, not quite yet anyway. These days have been healing and relaxing. Totally and completely wonderful. I think everyone in the world should have an opportunity like the one I've been so blessed to have. Honestly, this is what I've needed for what feels like an eternity.

I'm in the hospital right now, not for me, just so you know. I was introduced to a nurse here, and I said hello. Then she looks at me so surprised and said, "Oh, they speak English on Guam?" At least, he said something like that. :) Isn't that hilarious? That's one of the things about being here that I find so amusing. The fact that people here just look at me like, "What in the world are you doing here and why are you with these people?" Truthfully, I love it. It just shows what kind of melting pot Guam truly is and how different living (being or visiting) the States is. It's so diverse and beautiful coming from an island where nobody is the same and people come from all kinds of places, speak all kinds of tongues, and have their own stories to tell. More and more, I cannot imagine living anywhere but there. It's been such an amazing experience growing up on Guam. I love, love, love, love it. My island paradise. Where dreams happen. :) More or less.

So in the past week, I've gone shopping close to 8 billion times, eaten at nigh on 20 different places, and done a couple new things. Wow, I'm just so into exaggerating. It sure feels like 8 billion and 20 and a couple. :) I am not making any sense, but whatever, it's your choice to continue reading. I don't really know where to start, but I do know one thing.

This summer, I've grown up so much. I've felt and experienced so many new things-some I never expected to happen, some I never wanted to happen, and some that I still to this day have trouble believing something so amazingly wonderful has happened.

I feel like a different person. In the very best way possible.

Little Ruthie's growing up.

Pointless.

I have to make a list. I'm not in a descriptive mood right now. 

1. I want a shirt that says, "I left my ♥ in Guam" (even though I didn't) hah

2. Wild Honeysuckle body cream is like the best thing ever.

3 However, Blue Bell ice cream is like the most out of this world delicious thing ever. :)

4. Honestly, I don't miss home. A man on the plane sitting next to me asked me if Dallas was home. I told him no. Home is like 26 hours and an ocean away. That's home. I'm realizing more and more that here, with people I love, is home. Home is where your heart is, and darlin', lemme tell ya, pieces of my heart walk outside of me, living about 8000 miles away from the beautiful island of Guam. 

5. I have the sweetest relationship with my mom. I called her up twice today, and both times, we were able to just sit and pray together. Shoot. I miss her so much.

6. I haven't eaten as much as I have in the past few days for about 3 or 4 months now. Dude, I love food. It's a shame that it's been a struggle to eat. 

7. It's funny how quickly I can pick up the way people talk. Not quite totally and accurately, but close enough for the amount of time I've been here. 

8. It's RIDICULOUS that the sun doesn't set until like 9pm here! It's been strange getting used to.

9. Apparently, it really is rude to stare. ;)

10. If I ever moved Stateside, I think I would gain about 20 lbs in the first couple of months. It's been crazy how much food there is to eat over here. It's...yum. :D

Oh, Hazel, I'm in Dallas visiting friends. :) They're the best. 

OH AND CAN SOMEBODY FILL ME IN ON WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON WITH THE TEAM THAT WENT TO THE JO'S??? *hinthazelhint* Do you know? Because I would like to know. :) Please and thank you. 

Restless and dreamlike.

I'm sure many of you are wondering what in the world I've been up to these days. Well, let me tell you. Whatever I've been up to is probably way more exciting than anything any of y'all could be doing. :) I have no idea how to summarize the last couple of days, but even if I could, I promise you, I wouldn't have the words to do it justice.

Oh, and just so you know, for the past like 4 days, I have had no idea where I really am. I have been really confused about the cities in Dallas, like: Mangilao in Guam is like Richardson in Dallas???? I am so confused!!!! I have been doing a lot of shopping at huge malls! We went to a seriously HOT baseball game, our face was right in the sun! Then, since it was in July, they had an awesome firework show choreographed to the coolest music! NellieMae and C.J.'s sister and brother-in-law came for the weekend, so now I realized I have met almost all their family except the oldest sister with all the kids. Now I am really sidetracked.

More later. :) Guess who helped write all that? She's great. hah. :D

Prior to departure.

Bahahaha! It's 3:30 in the morning, and I'm getting ready to go to the airport. This is the first time I'm doing something like this by myself. On the bright side, I smell REALLY GOOD. :) More later.

Pictures.

These are a little old, but hey. 

Learned.

Young man, you have no right to demand a woman's heart if you can't back up your love with commitment. No right.

Anyway, that's what I've been learning. I guess, not learning, more like observing. It's good though. Think about it. 

Lol.

Since most of my readers are wondering, I don't really know the real, exact reason I'm stateside. I know that sounds totally lame, but it's true. I thought Mom needed to be here for work. Nope. I thought we were just visiting family. Nope. It's kind of a mixture of both. I don't really know how to explain it.

Anyway, I just got back from the pool. We're staying at the Luxor (the hotel shaped like a pyramid) until Wednesday. It's pretty cool. Man, Vegas is super dry. The sun's more intense back home...but it's humid, so it doesn't make you feel like you're shriveling up into nothing.

Yesterday we went to Old Navy and I bought a lot of new clothes. I seriously love Old Navy. I think my whole wardrobe is from there, pretty much. Let's see. Recap. It's so not going to be in order. 

July 4 

We flew out of LA to Las Vegas. Man. God makes beautiful creations. We flew out at around noontime, and it was so fascinating to be able to see the landscape. All the mountains and sand and dryness...it's so different from what I've gotten used to seeing. You know, sand. :) Water. Green grass. Things like that. I'm so thankful that I was able to see all of that. Oh that reminds me! That morning, we were on the freeway in LA, and I saw the sun rise! It was absolutely GORGEOUS. God is so good. It was totally postcard worthy. 

After we arrived in Las Vegas, we went out to eat at this Filipino restaurant. It kind of made me laugh...I was thinking, "Wow. I just traveled about 26 hours, just to eat at a place that serves food I never had to leave my house to eat." However, the food was SUPER SUPER GOOD. I was rather surprised. I was using the restroom there, and I guess the lock on the door was broken, because as I was washing my hands, some girl accidentally opens the door! I come to find out that it's some famous movie star from the PI! Awkward!

Then we went to my relatives' house here, and my cousin took me out shopping. Oh, I had so much fun. :D Then I think we went out to Olive Garden to eat. I had some ravioli. Oh my word, it was super good. Um, my mom is ridiculous! She convinced our server to let us keep one of their plates to take home to my sister!!! Only my mother.

After dinner, my cousin took me out to Walmart. It was pretty cool. It's so cheap here! It's crazy!! The cost of living on Guam is so expensive! Whatever. I guess paradise doesn't come easy. :) I love my island. I went to bed that night, EXHAUSTED.  Oh yeah, Jon asked about the fireworks. I did get to see the fireworks. There were some going off like everywhere! It was pretty cool. We weren't able to just stop and watch them, but as we drove down the freeway there were fireworks going off left and right like every thirty seconds. It was wayy cool. 

July 5

Went shopping. Oh I said that already. Then...we went out to eat at this buffet place. Craziness. It's like this buffet that serves food from all over the world. I wished Min Shik were with me. He and I would eat like fatties. Ok, so he does that by himself, but I seriously think it's amusing to watch him eat!

Checked into our hotel. Didn't eat dinner. I don't know what else. It's funny how I still don't get lots of food to eat. D: I want SNACKS!!!!!

And I'll update about today later. ehhhh

Day 1.

July 3, 2009 Friday

            Day 1

            I’m officially on the plane, and to my surprise, I’m sitting in business class. Whoo hoo! I guess I’m getting the whole shebang.

            I’m pretty bummed that Dad isn’t with us. I almost cried this morning. I’ve gotten so used to saying goodbye to Mom that it stopped making me cry. However, I almost never have to say goodbye to Dad, so it was pretty hard. I’ll be ok. It’s not like I have deep insecurities that things will change. They will not!

            As we got out of the van when Dad dropped us off this morning, I was so nervous. I have no idea why. It’s not like I was really scared to fly. I think I still didn’t realize I was actually going to do this.

            We got to the place where they run your bags through the scanning thing, and I was basically freaking out. I’m such a wimp. It’s not even funny. D: I can’t even imagine what it’s going to be like traveling to and from Texas by myself! Oh what things I’ll be able to write from that experience! What joy!

             On the upside, I’m sitting by myself. My mom was upgraded to business class, or something like that, but she can’t leave Kaz, so she gave her seat to me. Thanks Mom! Really. I’m loving it. The seat is so big, and I have room for the pillow they give you, my journal, my Bible, two books, my teddy bear, and me. That’s what I call comfortable. Not only that, but I love how they serve me drinks! I sat down and the flight attendant asked me if I wanted anything to drink. I was going to be shy and tell her no thank you, but I thought I might as well give it a whirl and make the most of this opportunity.

I AM ADVENTURE GIRL! No, just kidding. I read too many girly, teenybopper books.  That’s from Amazing Grace. I brought Wuthering Heights and To Kill a Mockingbird with me to read.

            Oh my goodness, I feel like such a noob. Watch it. I’m not going to know how to fully utilize the luxuries of where I’m seated. Oh well. Heh….I’m such a loser honestly. I don’t even know what I’m doing. I totally forgot how to open the restroom door. Ehh. I must be a spectacle to watch. Whatever. The flight attendant is really nice. So like she gave me this warm, moist towel thing, and I have no idea what to do with it! Like what happened to my common sense?? I should just wear a sign on my forehead that says, “I AM A LOSER AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING. WILL PAY FOR HELP AND COMMON SENSE.”  Being me is way too much fun.

            As I was being asked for what sort of breakfast I would like, the flight attendant lady kept calling me Miss Natividad. It was way cool.

            I had a cheese omelet. Oh my word.  I felt so full afterward. They served some fruit, some bread and then the actual breakfast. After I was finished eating, I reclined the chair and just lay in the dark. I wasn’t planning on sleeping. I wasn’t even bored. I was perfectly content just sitting there. It was probably the first real down time I have had all summer. I guess I was so relaxed that I eventually fell asleep. I don’t know how long I was out, but it felt like an eternity. It was so good. On the downside, I fell asleep with my contacts in, so my eyes are feeling repercussions of that right now.

            Currently, I’m sitting in the Narita airport waiting for my mom and Kaz to get back from eating some Yakisoba. We’re stuck in this airport until about 3:30 in the afternoon. It is almost 10:30 right now. 5 more hours.

THIS IS OLD. I typed it up while we were in Narita. Newer stuff later.

Culture Shock.

I've been contemplating what exactly I should blog about first, but um...culture shock would definitely be at the top of the list. DEFINITELY. I don't know how to explain it really, but now I understand why many, many, many people from all walks of life love Guam. As much as I really do want to be here, I miss home. I don't want to go back necessarily, but I do miss how things are, how things work, and the people greatly.

Anyway, YES I AM ALIVE. I've been in LA for the past couple of...hours. Not days, even thought it sure feels like DAYS! I think I lived July 3 three times over. It's crazy. I'm at the airport right now on the way to Las Vegas. I can't say much right now, but I will definitely catch you guys up in a few hours. I have so much to say.

And yes, I do think it's cold here. Like ridiculously cold. It's not even cold! The sun seems so far away. And it's so dry...it's different. Not bad, just...different.

LEAVING!

I'm off to the airport in like 10 minutes. I'm packing up my laptop really soon, but being a faithful blogger, I had to say something before I left this rock!! (which I love so much, by the way)

Anyway, I'm so looking forward to this trip. Traveling is a learning experience in and of itself. I can't wait to learn something. :) So like we're going to be spending a really long time in the air and on the road, please be praying for me!!! Lord knows I hate dirty hair!!! Seriously. And if I break out because of this...I will never forgive the transportation systems in this world. I don't like my hair dirty and I never break out. Just kidding. Well. Sort of. 

Updates soon!!! 

My dinner.

Our family ate at Denny's tonight, because every other restaurant we usually go to was closed. Yeah, it was like 10pm already. We always eat late. It's kinda ridiculous. Anyway, at the table sort of across from us, some band kids (I couldn't figure out for the life of me which band...maybe there's only one, but whatever it's irrelevant) were eating dinner. I kind of knew some of them, because they either used to go Harvest, still go to Harvest, went to Friendship Fest when I was still in band, or were in ACB one of the 3 years I was on the team. 

SO (I'm not bashing them specifically, because I have nothing against band kiddos, I'm talking about young people eating out in groups in general) our family was sitting there peacefully, when the other table is full of erupting laughter and boisterous conversation. I love listening to band kids talk music. It is the funniest thing ever. I don't know why, but I seriously find it ridiculously amusing to listen to band kids talk about pieces they played in rehearsal or mistakes in their performance. It sometimes annoys me when teens go eat out like that....

Till I realized that that is exactly what it's like when we go out to eat after Saturday performances for drama. It used to be Juniors and Seniors only, but this year, Sophomores could go too. We all go out to King's after cleaning up the stage. By far, the dinner after The Miracle Worker was the BOMB! 

The whole time we were there, all we could talk about was our performance. My favorite part was the last scene when Captain Keller (Jon) and Katie (I) were at the dinner table, and I was almost going to cry. Up stage, Helen and Miss Sullivan start to go inside to eat dinner...and then the lights fade. Man. The audience was dead quiet. Then all of a sudden they started clapping like crazy! Awww that feeling is...I just can't put it to words. I couldn't do it justice. 

Anyway, those band geeks reminded me of my drama traumas. Terms of endearment, love, not derogatory terms. I've been both, and an ACB nerd so...I do have room to talk. :) 

Travel.

Whoo! So we leave for Japan tomorrow morning at 6:30, and we arrive in Los Angeles at 9:30am. Time differences are trippy, man. It's like I'm living July 3 twice. That's pretty sick, but I'm excited. I just finished packing. I actually think I've packed less clothes for 3 weeks than I pack for camp for 1 week. Silly Ruthie. Whatever. I'm just glad that all my clothes fit into one suitcase thingy, because I seriously dislike lugging around all my stuff at the airport. 

I'm listening to some jazzy big band swing thing. Excellent. Anywho, Benny Goodman's Blue Skies, the one with Bunny Berigan's trumpet solo is playing. Mmmmm. To hear these guys play live...craziness. It drives me up the wall that I love to listen to music so much but I can't play anything for my life. It's a little bit saddening, but whatever. I so wish I could play this kind of music. Piano. Trumpet. Sax. Trombone. The rhythm section. Anything. There's just something about it. 

I smell the aroma of wild honeysuckle. Yum yum yum. 

And I just ate two pieces of macadamia nuts covered in dark chocolate. YUM YUM YUM.

I'm sleepy. I love that we can learn so much from reading. I feel so smart. :D :D

Weddings. and Daisies.

Ahhhh!!! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

I was just looking at pictures of two weddings that happened this summer, last month actually. Ok, so one of them had DAISIES! And I am so jealous. It was super cute. I think I liked that one better. I don't really have much else to say, but I love daisies.