Saturday afternoon.

Dad and I were going to go out today, but then we unanimously decided that today was not the best day to go out. I am tired, and Dad would just prefer next Saturday. I didn't mind. I like being lazy. I just finished a Nutella sandwich...so good. I had forgotten that Mom likes to hide the good food (meaning the food that's bad for us) in the cabinets, and she prominently displays the healthy food all over the place. To me, that's like posting up warning signs all over the place saying, "DO NOT EAT!!" :) Just kidding. I know Mom means well. So I looked through the cupboards remembering that she said something about food in there "in case I was hungry." I found a jar of Nutella!!! I love Nutella! It is like...happiness in a jar! More like yumminess in a jar, I guess. :) I toasted some bread and spread some on, and I poured myself a glass of milk, like not soy milk. I guess things change. :)

I am so lazy!! It is unbelievable!!! Whatever. I work hard the other days of the week. I still have like 3 loads of laundry to do and then I have to iron Dad's uniforms and clothes for tomorrow...I feel like I'm getting so old! OH! I just remembered I still haven't washed my sheets, and I need to wash my comforter...argh. I am seriously starting to dislike laundry!!! It is like it never ends, but I guess there are things to be thankful for. Like: I have clothes to launder, I have a washing machine and dryer, so I don't have to wash everything by hand...and I know how to do my own laundry! I guess that's good. :) Ok, enough about me talking about my laundry. :D

Go. Be. Love.

Prayer Bible Study

Day 1. (5/27/09)
Goals for the Summer (as far as prayer goes)
1. Have specific times set to pray for certain things. i.e. Mondays-school, Tuesdays-unsaved friends and family, etc.
2. See God work in astounding ways with my eyes opened because of faithful, fervent prayers.
3. Learn to pray from my heart, where it flows naturally, and it doesn't become vain repetition.
4. Get so used to talking to God that it becomes by default setting, the first thing that I do in every situation, my first life of defense, not my last resort.
5. Have alone time conversing with God every day. Faithful praying, with heart behind it, out of my own volition.

Day 2. (5/28/09)
It's so easy to pray vain, vague prayers to God. Be specific with God. Be real with Him. Ruthie, do you remember two summers ago when you wanted to be that girl who had full-on conversations with God and had inside jokes with Him? Ask God to help you love your unsaved friends, to be a light. Don't give up. Stay faithful--persistent and consistent. Miss a day? Talk to Him tomorrow--He's still your God. God would much rather have my honest complaints than my absence. Bring everything to God in prayer.

Day 3. (5/29/09)
Prayed with my prayer buddies, Heather and Toni.

Day 4. (6/1/09)
"If I talk to my girlfriend like 5 minutes a day, what kind of relationship would we have? How about the relationship between God and me if I talked to God that little?"-Josh.

1. Are we commanded to pray?
   -Luke 18:1 "men ought to always pray"
   -James 4:2 "ye have not because ye ask not"
   
   • who am I to ask so little of God?
2. Prayer brings JOY.
   -John 16:24 "that your joy may be full"
   
3. Prayer delivers us from troubles.
   -Psalm 34:6 "man cried...saved [from] troubles"
4. Prayer lets God's wisdom be shown to us.
   -James 1:5 "lack wisdom...ask of God"
5. Prayer is a channel of power.
   -Jeremiah 33:3 "show you great and mighty things"

Did you know it is a sin not to pray?
-1 Samuel 12:13-14
Does God answer prayer?
-Yes, beyond our expectations.
-Luke 18:7-sometimes with <u>delay
-2 Corinthians 12:8-sometimes differently
-Isaiah 65:24-sometimes immediately
-If we ask amiss, we do not receive! James 4:3
I want faith to pray, faith to move mountains. How do I get faith to do that? "Faith cometh by hearing, hearing by the Word of God. " Romans 10:17


Day 5. (6/2/09)
I'm sitting out on the lanai of the FLC just journaling...and I read a couple chapters from my Bible. Good stuff. I'm realizing that God is growing me in big ways. I don't remember a time in my life like the one I'm in right now where I've had frequent, extensive quality alone time with God like I have been. It's good. My relationship with my Father should mean the most to me. All I really want to do is know my Jesus and fall more and more in love with Him. His love is abundant, His grace is sufficient, and His goodness is overflowing. God is the strength of my heart.

Model Way to Pray

• Praise and Worship God and Truth
• Confess my sins; turn away from my wilful sin and to following the Gospel
• Give thanks
• Let your requests be made known

Faith
-without works is dead
-needed to please God (Hebrews 11:6)
-I want faith to pray. I want faith to move mountains. No, I want even greater faith.

Prayers cannot be answered:
-when it tries to change God's decrees (Deut 3:23)
-avoiding chastisement (2 Sam 12:16)
-prompted by selfish motives (Matt 5:6; James 4:23)
-meaningless and repetitious (Matt 6:7)

My precious Redeemer, why are You so good to me? Father, I love You. I want my life to glow with the illuminating presence of Your glory. You are my King, and today, I bow my knee and long to worship You just like You deserve. My heart is so full of thankfulness. You are more than enough for me. I cannot even begin to scratch the surface of Your love for me. I long to know You as You are. This is me right now: I am just so thankful for God's love for me. There's this overabundant sense of peace in me. All I want to do is just sit in His presence all day just thinking about what God is doing in my life. Beneath the peace, there's a continuous flow of joy. I'm doing ok. I don't really feel like myself. I don't know what to tell people when they ask me why I've seemed kind of out of it. I just feel pressured to "be happy." That's not fair. I don't think it should matter what people think. I am who I am, who God made me to be. I am basking in the light of His glory, completely satisfied in Him. Therefore, it really shouldn't matter what people think. :)

Day 6. (6/3/09)

1. Prayers can't be answered when ctd
   -without first confessing consciously known sin (1 John 1:8-10)
   -disregards the known will of God (1 Samuel 8:9-10)
   -without honor for your wife (1 Peter 3:7)
2. Praying positions
   -Any position! (deep stuff.)
   -Examples from the Bible
   
   • lifting hands
   • bowed knees
   • face on the ground
   • face to Heaven
   -What matters: humility towards God
3. When to pray
   -continuously (1 Thess. 5:17)
   -night and day
   -all night
   -before bed
4. Kinds of prayers
   -confession
   -intercession
   -needs
   -praise and worship
   -thanksgiving
   -there are more...
5. How to pray. (see day 5)

Day 7. (6/4/09)
Keys to effective prayer
-Set aside a specific time to pray
-Ask God to give me a desperate longing to know Him
God answers prayer if:

• I've confessed sins
• according to His will
• doesn't change His decrees
• offered in faith
• abide in Him and Him in me
• I've forgiven others
• I delight in Him and do what pleases Him
• in reverent submission
• ask in Jesus' name
• glorifies the Father
• I keep His Word
• I ask in humility

People and prayers
-Luke 18:9-14 "for everyone that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.
-The Pharisee's prayer showed no reflection of God and who He is or any of His attributes.
What is my motive for prayer?
Does God hear prayers of an unrepentant sinner?
-1 Peter 3:12
-Isaiah 59:1
-Psalm 66:18
-John 9:31

Can I really pray this??
-Psalm 26:2
-Psalm 139:23-24
-Isaiah 41:8-10, 11b
-Come to God with a pure heart

Lord, You know my heart. You know that I desire to love and serve You with all that I am. Thank You that You are my God , that You are the Maker of the Universe and the Orchestrator of all that happens in it. I am so in awe of Your works. Your ways are far beyond anything I could ever think up. Your wisdom is too good for me. Thank You for the mercies that You give me every morning. Thank You for being the joy and strength of my heart. Your timing is perfect. You are so good to me. All that I am, all that I have is way more than I deserve. Your love overwhelms me. I want to pray with a pure and loving heart. May my prayers mean something. I want to be a prayer warrior of Yours. I want my heart to beat in perfect synch with Yours. I come boldly before Your throne of grace and just ask You to show me Your glory. I want to see You for all that You are. Lord, give me the strength to die daily so that Your live will and can live through me. I ask that You grow my patience through trials where I will have to wait on You. I ask for brokenness and humilty, so that I will see that it's You that I need, only You. You complete me, everything else is just Your blessing and grace being poured on a lowly sinner, such as I. May I learn to love like You love. May I have the compassion that You have for others. Lord, I want to live for You and love You everyday with everything in me.

Carnival Day!

So since this is my blog, I can be selfish and only put up pictures with me in it on this post. :)

Ok, this is a pic of the Hot Tots. If you can spot the girl in the pink shirt and the girl to the left of her (wearing a white headband), that would be the mini versions of Asia and me. No kidding. They just finished K-3, and they're like best friends. It's wayyy cute! That's like Asia and me when we were their age. They are always together, always waiting for each other, always looking out the other. It's adorable!!! I had them both in extended care this past year. The girl in the pink shirt reminds me so much of Asia! She likes to do her own thing, and she's really daring for being so young and so little! I think she was about the smallest student at HCA this year! Adorable! And then her best friend with the headband, totally reminds me of me! Luke and I were watching these two as they were getting briefed as to what they were supposed to be doing at the carnival today, and she kept eating and not paying attention. Luke and I were laughing SO much! I love it!!

This is a pic of me working. Um, I had like the easiest game ever! All the kids had to do was throw the Frisbee and try to make at least one of them land on the stars. You can't see the stars...but they're there! I had so much fun! The kids were so funny!! I had a couple fall in line over and over again, because it was so easy to win. Then one time when I was running out of prize candy, there were these two super sweet girls that each gave me a piece from their prize candy. It kind of defeat the purpose though, since they won it back, but I thought the thought was sweet. :D

And this one is just fun. :) I love how Mariah is totally knocked out in the background! It's funny!! Well, I got a ladybird painted on my face just for kicks. That about sums up my day...
Oh, we took a pic of the reference Micah 1:8 painted on our forearms. We meaning the Cool School team. :) Funny stuff. Josh is crazy. He's like the best intern ever! I was so tired when we were sweeping up afterward, so he hands me this huge broom and tells me to do something with it. I didn't understand what he meant, so he took it from me, and was like, "You gotta do one of these numbers." Then he came up with this hilarious beat and started dancing and pretending the broom was a guitar. Fun times. I'm telling ya! I am having so much fun.

On a random side-note, I was texting one of the younger girls on the CS team, and she said the sweetest thing to me today. She told me that she wants to be like me, because I'm funny, smart and godly. She says that she wants to become closer friends with me this summer. I just about died! I didn't even realize that people thought that about me!!! I'm so excited though, because I really wanted to get closer to her too, but I didn't know if she wanted to talk to me, like ever! Our team is starting to bond. It's a wonderful feeling.

Frustrating!!!

So I have this person in mind, and the way this person lives his life confuses me.
He says he's a Christian, and he sort of lives like it...
but he's always so stinking SAD!
I don't think in all the time I've known him he's been really, genuinely thankful or joyful.
His smiles fade.
His laughter dies out.
There is no life behind his eyes.
I don't understand.

If you're truly walking with Jesus, living in the light of His Word, won't you have some kind of joy, even if you are sad?

This person is in a perpetual state of sadness. He's either just about to be sad, sad, or just got over being sad for like two seconds. It's so depressing! I don't even like being around him anymore because I can't stand how ungrateful he seems...

Maybe he just has growing up to do.
'cause there are so many things that make me happy if I just have the eyes to see them.
God has blessed us with so much. There really is no reason to be all mopey over
n o t h i n g.

sorry. i am just venting. because i. am. very. frustrated.

Represent.

Anyone else feel the same?
This is a rock on campus that Jer and I affectionately call the "Harvest rock." It totally sums up all that I feel for my second home.

Wiped.

It's 8:10pm. I've been sleeping since 4:30pm.
I was unbelievably tired, but now...
Now I am totally rested.

Unbeknown to me before this afternoon, Mom is spending a couple of days in the PI. She left tonight. I didn't go to the airport to see her off, and I kind of feel bad!!! She said it was ok that I stay home and rest...but I don't like to leave goodbyes up in the air like that. Whatever. She'll be home by Sunday, Lord willing.

It rained today.
I love the rain.
I just sat on the lanai at the FLC and wrote in my journal.
I went puddle hopping. :)
I love the rain.
Although it didn't pour down too much, it was at least overcast the whole day, which made me happy. I love the rain.
The rain makes everything cozy. It makes me so sleepy too. :)

I know it's SUMMER because...

1. There are babies that run around everywhere wearing only their diapers.
2. All the haole kids smell like sunscreen. (ok, maybe not all, but there sure are a lot!)
3. Yards everywhere have people randomly lying on the grass.
4. Watermelon is served at every other fiesta/picnic.
5. The air smells like pre-BBQ, post-BBQ, and BBQ almost anywhere you go.
6. People drive with their windows rolled down and their music playing more often than not.
7. The days are longer...sunrise is earlier, sunset is later.
8. Night-outs are planned for Wednesday nights to Chamorro Village.
9. I go to bed exhausted and wake up completely rested.
10. Jack Johnson has been playing on loads of people's ipods. :) whoooo!

Those are all the ones I came up with today. I'll add more eventually.