100 things. Part II

100 things I want to do before I die. (I told you I love lists)

1. Get my divers license...or whatever it's called. (Forget driving, I want to DIVE)

2. Find out which HBBI girl led me to Jesus when I was 3 1/2. 

3. Live on a farm. (Even for just a bit, doesn't have to be forever)

4. Buy one, just one, super amazing dress that I can wear a million times and it'll still look cute every single time. (I think this is just a girl thing)

5. Write a devotional book called Beauty from Ashes. (That's a verse in Isaiah, by the way)

6. Get married. :) (Gotta put that in...hey, it's on everyone's list like this)

7. Build a treehouse. By myself. 

8. Meet someone who doesn't think I'm completely a dork. (This may have been done already...without my knowledge of so)

9. Go deep, deep sea fishing. 

10. Stand at the top of a lighthouse (not at night).

11. Cut grass with those lawn mowers you sit on. (I know. I'm weird.)

12. Visit Coram's Fields, the preschool I went to when we lived in England.

13. See if the sheep I used to try to ride are still there.

14. Go sailing...and sleep on the boat...somewhere in the middle of the ocean, under the stars, where it's DARK. Oh it'd be beautiful. 

15. Visit the Painted Desert. 

16. Get married to someone who can cook up some deeeelicious biscuits and gravy. (Once again, don't ask. I love, love, love that stuff) 

17. Learn how to take some decent pictures.

18. Teach a 2nd grade class, even for just a day.

19. Climb a mountain. A real one. ;P

20. Ride a camel. Or a llama.

21. Get my writing published.

22. Leave Harvest/Guam long enough to miss it and come back and see how it's changed.

23. Meet up with people I grew up with...but no longer live here.

24. Walk in a park and vaguely hear some brilliant person playing...(think August Rush haha)

25. Learn how to tell time. Well. (I know how. I'm just horrible at it.)

26. Learn how to multiply by 9. (Uhhh, I was very distracted when we learned how to do this in elementary)

27. Raise a family.

28. Visit the zoo. Everyday for a week.

29. Go on a hike, where the whole time we're walking through mud...like knee-deep. (love it)

30. Get some weird janitorial/housekeeping job in college. (for some reason I really want to do this)

31. Dance under the stars. 

32. Grow a garden of flowers. All over the place. In tires. In the ground. In old barbeque grills. In old drums. In buckets. In old toilets. Everywhere.

33. Paint a picture on the wall with my hands.

34. Roll down a hill. 

35. Roller skate everywhere, just for a day. 

36. Make homemade ice cream.

37. Decorate a house. 

38. Work in a bakery.

39. Go to my best friend's wedding. (This is implying that she gets married before she dies)

40. Write a letter at least once to every person that means something to me. (I better get started. I'd be writing a million letters)

41. Visit a Holocaust museum. 

42. Run a 5k. Like run. Like all of it.

43. Live on some island off of the coast of Alaska, even just for a month...or a week.

44. Swim in the Mediterranean. 

45. Bike through the English countryside. Just a wad of cash, the clothes on my back and a toothbrush.

46. Get a crazy haircut.

47. Bring back the 1940's style.

48. Star in a major play...somewhere.

49. Meet someone like me. Like...JUST LIKE ME. But not me.

50. Meet my doppleganger theory person...(look it up)

51. Help support finding the cure for cancer. Somehow. Even more.

52. Figure out my family tree.

53. Go camping. For longer than just the weekend.

54. Catch fireflies. 

55. Own a little rowboat.

56. Jump in lake of freezing cold water. (not the kind that will me get that hypothermia thing)

57. Ride in a helicopter.

58. Road trip. 

59. Live in a house where there are at least 3 bookshelves in almost every room. 

60. Find the perfect blend of tea, water, milk and sugar.

61. Climb a really, really big tree.

62. Visit missionaries all over the world.

63. Get in a submarine. Not like the silly Nautilus tourist submarine, but a...legit one.

64. Be involved in full-time ministry. :) 

65. Make a quilt.

66. Go hunting. (I don't know...it sounds...not Ruthie at all, but it does sound interesting)

67. Ice skate...like better than when I was little.

68. Meet a boy who writes like I do. (This also may have been done. I don't remember)

69. Ride in a little teeny weeny airplane. 

70. Drive a truck, a big one.

71. Raise bees. (I like weird things. I've been inspired.)

72. Find an instrument I can really play...

73. Touch someone's life. Even just once.

74. Get lost in the city with someone else I know.

75. Visit a castle. An old one...not one that's been turned into some tourist trap.

76. Grow up to be one of those sweet, sweet old ladies.

77. Stay friends, yea best friends with Asia. More than just on facebook. ;)

78. Count how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

79. Learn how to ride a horse. Well. 

80. Own a huge aquarium of fish.

81. Stumble upon a hidden garden.

82. Be part of a parade. 

83. Go to a fair.

84. Live somewhere cold.

85. Own a copy of everything Jane Austen's ever written.

86. (Get married) Name one of my sons after my husband. (well..it's true)

87. Find a way to be in the cafeteria when the lights are off. (I've figured out in all the 15 1/2 years I've been at Harvest, I've never been in the cafeteria when the lights are off)

88. Own a cat. (I hate cats.)

89. Go to the Olympics. (Hopefully, the London Olympics...there is actually a good chance of me being able to go...randomly)

90. Find more books by David Lubar.

91. Visit Stratford-Upon-Avon, where Shakespeare's from.

92. Perform one of Shakespeare's plays.

93. Live to see the day we get lights for our soccer field at Harvest.

94. Sink a 3 pointer.

95. Watch Asia swim the English Channel and live to tell about it.

96. Be a witness like that little old man in Australia.

97. Start a phenomenon.

98. See more and more of my relatives get saved.

99. Eat some REAL spicy food. All kinds. spicy :)

100. Tell someone how much they really, truly mean to me and how much I love them.

I love lists. 

This is for Luke.

LUKE LUKE LUKE LUKE LUKE LUKE LUKE.

There. Now you're on here.

smile.

My bestest best friend's bestest best friend.

gross.

haha just kidding.

100 things.

I love lists. This is an updated 100 things.

100 things I love:

1. The way God works. It's beautiful!!

2. How Mom thought I passed out when I talked with her on the phone today!

3. Random Sunday afternoon lunches.

4. Fast friends.

5. Wiggle sticks at Foxes'.

6. Weekend hangouts.

7. Video chatting with Bella and listening to good acoustic.

8. Eating comfort food-mashed potatoes, chicken, gravy, and biscuits!!

9. School skip days.

10. Playing music in Josh's car with the windows rolled down.

11. Going on secret missions with Mariah and Asia while humming the Mission Impossible theme song.

12. Meeting people's parents.

13. Sweet, sweet iced tea.

14. My church. :)

15. The way Kristian and Kevin try to imitate my laugh (it's impossible).

16. Being missed.

17. Filling out surveys.

18. Reading people's answers to surveys (like Min Shik wanting to slap a baboon's bum...ai)

19. Spending a whole day reading a book series.

20. When Dad makes me hot tea.

21. And we sit in the garage talking.

22. When Mom comes in my room and we laugh until she falls asleep. 

23. Singing with all my heart to embarrassing love songs with my girls. 

24. Wednesday afternoon trips to Mickey D's with the guys.

25. Sitting on the Lanai of the FLC watching the sunset.

26. The feeling that overcomes me when I walk into the auditorium when it's empty.

27. My hundreds of books in my room. Hundreds. Really.

28. How I iron for my family. 

29. And that I iron every morning...

30. The HCA class of 2011. 

31. This oil candle thing on my desk. I haven't even lit it yet, but it still makes my room smell good! It's magical!!

32. How it's possible to get lost in a book.

33. Sour skittles!! It's happiness in a bag.

34. When I get teased about being ADD. It shows I am loved.

35. How I subconsciously think that I grew up in the South.

36. Worn out shoes.

37. The memories of Dad and I walking through the streets of London.

38. Kaz singing.

39. Feeling shy talking to someone I admire.

40. Writing in my journal...furiously.

41. Chap stick. 

42. When the little iChat icon bounces in its dock. Scares me but I love it!

43. My best friend. 

44. High school guys' volleyball games. 

45. No, just guys' games in general. Much more upbeat than girls' sports.

46. Giggling with someone who knows exactly how I feel.

47. Dancing in living rooms.

48. Feeling mischievous, while not really doing anything mischievous. 

49. The sound my laptop makes when someone signs in on IM or IMs me. It's so cute! 

50. How I am singlehandedly NOT supporting the US Postal System.

51. Daisies. I LOVE daisies.

52. Rainy, thunderstorm-y days. Beautiful...

53. Cute sundresses.

54. Harvest concerts and performances. 

55. Well-taken photographs.

56. Reminiscing the past.

57. Sharing hopes and dreams with people I'm just getting to know.

58. Testimonies.

59. Sneezing in books. ;) don't ask...

60. Ice Breaker SOURS. (Happiness in a small, circular, brightly colored container)

61. Having unexpected moments with God through nature. Seriously. It's profound.

62. Christmas dinner.

63. Sunflowers as big as my face. :)

64. Talking to people about what they think.

65. Running through huge fields of long grass and flowers.

66. Dreaming of lovely things.

67. The feeling that one gets when everything clicks.

68. Finding out that, yes, it's possible for boys to have beautiful minds.

69. Noticing people's handwriting.

70. Reading books nobody's heard of before.

71. Summer. 

72. "You're so fine! You blow my mind! I get so nervous every time I see you hop online!" (that's for Bella and Asia-sing it!)

73. Cookies from Saipan.

74. Skipping class (with permission) to have serious talks with people.

75. How my class calls Asia and me rebels for skipping class (with permission) a lot.

76. Randomly remembering that I used to have this thing for riding sheep.

77. That Asia saved me from falling off a cliff once...really.

78. Good, meaningful talks a long time coming.

79. Crying and praying on the phone.

80. Cutesy little coffee shops with AMAZING house coffee.

81. People complimenting me when I'm having a really bad day. lol it's funny!

82. Inside jokes with God.

83. Popsicles on a balmy summer day.

84. Thunderstorms. 

85. Being all snugly and warm on cold, cold days.

86. "I wish I was the weather...'cause then maybe you'd be talking about me all the time."- hah!

87. Plastic rings you get for 25 cents.

88. Staying up super de-duper late. (not for school)

89. BAGEL BITES!! And punch!!!

90. Sleeping Freshman Never Lie. freaky cantaloupe This is not a list.

91. Country music. Seriously. Well, some, at least.

92. Accents. I love accents...(like British accents, Aussie accents, etc) 

93. My personal fave...Southern accents. Ever since The Miracle Worker play. :)

94. How Asia ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS matches.

95. My twin. :D I love Bella.

96. The humidity after rainfall on a sunny day. 

97. How it's possible for people to tell you exactly what you want them to tell you if you ask them the right questions.

98. Writing letters.

99. Little kids.

100. Small things I notice that make my heart dance. 

100 things. :)

I am my mother's daughter-A tribute to my mom.

Rarely am I told that I look like my mom. People say I look like my dad. I don't know what to think. There is something that I get told quite a bit, however, and it is that I am just like my mom. In the big things. In the little things. It's kinda nice.

Mom and I both like a lot of the same things, do a lot of the same things, and think a lot of the same things. My mom and I looooove bright colors and decorating the house and other various things pretty. She and I are very adamant about keeping the house clean with extremely high standards. We both LOVE, absolutely LOVE, writing. She has 21 years worth of journals. We both write about little things that we see God in. We like to talk a lot. And pray. I love to pray with my mom...

And that's why I say. If there's anyone I would like to be like (other than Jesus), it would be my mother. She has seen God work in her life through and through. She's been a witness to some amazing things happen, and most of them are things she has prayed for. My mom is a prayer WARRIOR, like I'm not even kidding you. My mom is probably the hardest working person I know, and she does her job effectively and efficiently, but the thing that I love best about my mom, is that she loves Jesus with her whole heart, soul, and mind--with every ounce of her being. She knows she can't live this life without Him. He is her first resort. God has blessed our family with so much, and she acknowledges that. 

I know my mom is human and has flaws, but God has given her grace. I have learned what true joy is from her. There have been tough things in her life, but she always says God is good, and maybe there are those times where she doesn't say it, but I know deep down she knows it. My mom prays about everything. Everything is good from the hands of the Father in her eyes, whether or not we see it as good. :) I don't mind being just like my mother, if that means that God is real to me, just like He's soooooo real to her.

Last Thanksgiving.

I write a lot of notes about last year, especially about events that happened at this time 'cause for me, those were huge milestones in my life. They were things that still hurt my heart today, but it was through those things that God proved Himself real to me, even though God never has to prove anything. 

Mom and I were talking last night about the things that happened last December and what we were doing last Thanksgiving break. It's so easy to talk about it now, so easy to laugh, but I was telling her that, man, if we were talking about this only 10 months ago, I would have started crying 3 minutes BEFORE we even began talking about it.

Now, I talk about last year as if it's common knowledge as to what happened. Last December our family went on a 5 week vacation to the PI for a family reunion type thing. Sounds good, eh? The first hour we were there, I couldn't stop crying 'cause I could already feel in my bones that life was about to take a huge plunge into OW. Not even two weeks into the thing, we find out my mom has to have surgery, not a big deal, but hey, it's still surgery. I can't be with mom and dad in the city 'cause there's no where for me to stay in the hospital, so I stick around with my extended family (all of whom I am VERY thankful for!!!) without my parents. This was super hard for me, 'cause if it's not obvious, my parents and I are SUPER close, and it was hard not to be able to talk to them everyday (for some reason, cell phones wack out when I use them). The day after mom and dad come back from the city, we get a phone call from the doctor...mom needs to go back into surgery, and this time, it's serious. 

Man, I remember that night so clearly. Broke my stinkin' heart. I remember crying so hard wondering why God had to do this now. It was supposed to be a time spent with family! We had planned for this vacation for a WHOLE year, and one phone call could change that?! I was so upset. God gave mom and dad so much grace that time when I was throwing a huge teenage tantrum. Mom gave me Max Lucado's It's Not About Meto read, and I sat in a stupid plastic lawn chair in the middle of the living room till the wee hours of the morning till I read it, all of it; with every stinking word, tears ran down my face. God really used that night as a turning point in my life...

So. Mom and Dad had to stay in the city, while I was by myself--with family, yeah, but honestly, I didn't even know them. About 2-3 weeks. We moved from city to city everyday, constantly moving. Oh my word, I am so thankful for the people God brought into my life those couple weeks. It hurt a lot, knowing Mom was hurting. Blah! And one of the hardest things, besides my parents not being there, was that I couldn't go to church and half the time I didn't have my Bible. But God still spoke to me. Mom had a full hysterectomy, which doesn't sound like a big deal, 'cause I realize a lot of women get those, but for some reason, God chose to make everything extreme...

Christmas Eve and Christmas, I was throwing up. The only thing I ate on Christmas was half a cup of veggies, and that didn't stay down either. Dad could only leave mom in the hospital for a few hours, so I only saw Dad for like 2 hours and Mom not at all on Christmas...

Idk. Everything was so traumatizing for me, and God took away all the people I thought would comfort me. But I think it had to take that to show me that it's just God. It really "forced" me to rely on God. I remember one specific instance, I was laying on the bed thinking if the Hope that I still cling to was real. If I should let myself continue to believe in Jesus, 'cause life hurt so much. I thought back to what God has done thus far...I couldn't bring myself to unbelief. I don't even know what it is, but God did a miracle last Christmas. Wow, I've never even thought about this until now. It was a miracle. Like all of this doesn't sound like a big deal, but it's one of those things that only you and God know for real. That's kind of why I like to listen really closely when people give testimonies. It's sounds so easy to say, but their heart must be hurting ten times major. 

God really showed me His sovereignty last Christmas, and continually, up till now, He's showing me how only He can heal hurts...

Last Thanksgiving, we were packing clothes for our trip, but in another sense, it was like we were packing up all of our hopes, longings, expectations, worldly comforts, etc...only to abandon them and let Jesus be our only Hope. If that makes sense...

Mountain moves.

My sister has a thing for books, just like everyone else in my family. Naturally, then, we would have loads of random books all over the house, and we definitely do. Out of the many devo books we have lying around the house, I picked up one and opened up to no page in particular. It was about prayer, and how we tend to look at the size of the mountain, rather than the strength of the mountain mover. The author used the example of the 12 men that went to spy on Canaan--how 10 of them said they should go somewhere else, and 2 of them had faith that this was the land that God promised them, daunting as it may seem. 

Interestingly enough, this devo kind of tied in to something I've been thinking about this Thanksgiving holiday. The Sunday school speaker today, Kirk I don't remember his last name but he lives in Virginia, kept emphasizing that the friends one has has a huge impact on that person's life, whether we see it directly or not. He was pretty much reiterating what Mr. Filipiak talked about when SNAC was over at their house--about the whole "you have an influence on people, and your friends have an influence on you too" deal. Kirk (that's what I'll call him, since he said it was ok) asked us questions about our friends such as, "What direction do your friends lead you?" kind of like that. Anyway, I thought about it...and I was really thankful 'cause most of my REALLY close friends are all Christians and they all really strive to live for Jesus. (and for the most part, they're all pretty hardcore about being in-your-face confrontational)

But it wasn't always like that.

When I was in 7th, I used to really hate coming to church 'cause I felt really secluded, and I thought that all these "Christian-y" people didn't know what they were talking about... I was so focused on ME and seeing what I could get out of this church stuff. Then God totally changed my perspective on that, changed my perspective of God Himself. A lot of things happened in 7th grade, at home and at school, that really brought me to my knees. God finally took everything away to show me that I can't do it on my own. It didn't happen all at once...God revealed more and more of Himself to me as I changed the focus off of me and onto Him. Slowly but surely God has done a work in my life, and He has most definitely shown me the joys of knowing Him as well as being in a church body that loves Him...and because of that, God has blessed me and given me the people today that I call my friends. :D

So I finally got a glimpse of Who it was all about, and what happened? I didn't have the same gnawing feeling of lonliness, 'cause He showed me it was all about Him...and anything that was to be done could only be done through His strength.

I don't know...but it would be something great to have faith that moves mountains. Whatever those mountains may be. "Have you stood in the shadow for so long that you've grown accustomed to the darkness?

ACT Now.

Ok, I don't know if anyone else was watching this on channel 2 today. But basically it was a KUAM telethon thingy about cancer. 

Like there were people telling about their experiences with cancer...and how they beat it. It was like making people aware of it...Man, I started crying. I don't even really know why. It's not like I even knew those people, but then there was this one boy who is a year older than I am...and like, he's gone through chemotherapy, bone marrow transplants, leukemia and a lot of hard stuff...That made me cry sooo much. 

I didn't think cancer was a big deal; like, I never really took it seriously. Then...I found out something tonight...that really hit close to home. I don't really know if I can say it here, but man, I was trying so hard not to cry. This really challenged me to do more about it...like find ways to help out.

I don't think I've met anyone that hasn't been affected by cancer, whether they themselves have had it or has had someone in their family have it. 

According to the words of Asia, "Cancer fails at life." To me, I think it bites, but I know God uses it to show His glory. I know He does, 'cause I've seen His glory shown in families and individuals who have been affected by it. 

Cancer is so limited
It cannot cripple love
It cannot shatter hope
It cannot corrode faith
It cannot destroy peace
It cannot kill friendship
It cannot suppress memories
It cannot silence courage
It cannot invade the soul
It cannot steal eternal life
It cannot conquer the Spirit.
[It cannot change the love of Jesus Christ]

To all those that are cancer survivors, Right on! I don't have cool words to say...just that now, I'm praying for you seriously. And if there's anyone out there that does have cancer, I'm saying the same thing to you.

--the night I wrote this, I found out that my grandma had cancer...A week later, she was put in the ICU...

Soon after, she passed away...that just about tore me up...