We ran a mile on the soccer field yesterday. The paintball tent that used to be at the end of the field is no longer existent. However, in its place, there is a patch of my favorite weed flowers. It's of the same kind that I was playing with the first week. I like to think that that patch is there and because of me. It's probably not though.
I am back. I'm sitting on a bench at the Plaza de Espana. It's quite nice really. Everything looks so clear and pretty through my new glasses. I love the lighting here. It's so picturesque. It's so gorgeous. I often imagine what this place looked like back in it's glory day.
What if there was a girl my age? What did she think? How did she feel? Did she ever wonder if there truly is a God? Did she like a boy that lived on the complex? A soldier? Was their love typical legend forbiddeness? I wonder. Did she read? Did she like to write? Did she ever wonder about someone like me? Maybe she had a beautiful mind worth uncovering, but she was so looked down upon or lowly or unbeautiful that no one ever took the time to?
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
Story books and the words inside them
I view my life as a book. A novel, of sorts. I believe God writes a life story for each and every one of us. He know how it's all going to happen, but it's more like a choose your own adventure kind of book. God gave us a free-will to make choices. What kind of story are you creating?
I love to write, but it's always difficult to start. I love the feeling of just writing and you pencil just seems like it's gliding across the paper with the words gushing out of you. They say writing is the art of expressing thoughts into words, and I say they're right. Some people like eye candy, such as beautiful art on the wall; they enjoy the artist's work. In a way, writing is like that. Writers are artists painting marvelous word pictures with just simple words. Yes, simple yet powerful. There's nothing like reading a well-written piece of work and just letting your imagination soar. No boundaries. You know, just getting carried away with words.
I love to write, but it's always difficult to start. I love the feeling of just writing and you pencil just seems like it's gliding across the paper with the words gushing out of you. They say writing is the art of expressing thoughts into words, and I say they're right. Some people like eye candy, such as beautiful art on the wall; they enjoy the artist's work. In a way, writing is like that. Writers are artists painting marvelous word pictures with just simple words. Yes, simple yet powerful. There's nothing like reading a well-written piece of work and just letting your imagination soar. No boundaries. You know, just getting carried away with words.
Colors
How do you explain color to a blind person? Do you explain it with examples from other senses? This is my explanation. Who knows if it makes sense.
Red-It feels like fire. Burning. Smells like a plethora of spices. Tastes like cinnamon. I think of SPICY.
Orange-Tastes like oranges. Bursts of flavor. Sweet. Feels like those tingly morning facewash soaps. I think TANGY.
Yellow-Feels like the sun on your face. Bright and war. Tastes like lemonade. I think SOUR.
Green-It feels like walking barefoot in the grass covered with dew. I think FRESH. Smells like crisp apples. Tastes sweet and sour.
Blue-Smells like refreshing rain on a hot summer day. It tastes like blueberries. Feels like an overcast day in your favorite jeans. I think DEPTH.
Purple-Purple makes me feel warm, but not fire warm. Fuzzy blankets in a cold room warm. Smells calming like lavender. Tastes like grape soda. I think BUBBLY.
Pink-Smells like bubblegum. Very sweet. Tastes like lollipops. Feels like an adorable little girl giving you a hug. I think SWEET.
Brown-Feels like tree bark and soft, rich soil. tastes like chocolate and smells like a strong cup of coffee. I think COMFORT.
Black-Feels like awkward silence. Tastes like tea with no cream and sugar. Smells like the night air under the stars by a campfire. I think SOLEMN.
White-Fluffy pillows with the breeze blowing. Tastes like whipped cream on vanilla ice cream shared with someone you love. Smells like bread with sweet butter. I think SOFT.
Red-It feels like fire. Burning. Smells like a plethora of spices. Tastes like cinnamon. I think of SPICY.
Orange-Tastes like oranges. Bursts of flavor. Sweet. Feels like those tingly morning facewash soaps. I think TANGY.
Yellow-Feels like the sun on your face. Bright and war. Tastes like lemonade. I think SOUR.
Green-It feels like walking barefoot in the grass covered with dew. I think FRESH. Smells like crisp apples. Tastes sweet and sour.
Blue-Smells like refreshing rain on a hot summer day. It tastes like blueberries. Feels like an overcast day in your favorite jeans. I think DEPTH.
Purple-Purple makes me feel warm, but not fire warm. Fuzzy blankets in a cold room warm. Smells calming like lavender. Tastes like grape soda. I think BUBBLY.
Pink-Smells like bubblegum. Very sweet. Tastes like lollipops. Feels like an adorable little girl giving you a hug. I think SWEET.
Brown-Feels like tree bark and soft, rich soil. tastes like chocolate and smells like a strong cup of coffee. I think COMFORT.
Black-Feels like awkward silence. Tastes like tea with no cream and sugar. Smells like the night air under the stars by a campfire. I think SOLEMN.
White-Fluffy pillows with the breeze blowing. Tastes like whipped cream on vanilla ice cream shared with someone you love. Smells like bread with sweet butter. I think SOFT.
It's raining
It's raining tonight. Did I ever tell you how much I love the rain? It's beautiful. It's as if all the trees and the grass get another change to grow. It's as if the angels up in heaven are having a blast watching us run for cover as they spit down on us. I don't know how to describe why I love the rain so much. It just reminds me of how God pours out His blessing on those who are completely in His will.
Truth can hurt the most, can touch the heart or tear it in two. Truth can hurt the most from the start all I wanted was you, but now I must say goodbye.
Truth can hurt the most, can touch the heart or tear it in two. Truth can hurt the most from the start all I wanted was you, but now I must say goodbye.
Speak
When I was little, I used to think that the star's twinkling was them trying to talk to us. Little did I know that they were, and so was everything else in the world. They were showing us God. Trying to prove to us Our Maker. If only we had ears to hear them really praising God. I wonder what they say.
We don't live long enough to learn from all the mistakes we make.
God is good even when I don't like the sun. The sun should eat grass!!! Lots and lots of grass! The green kind. The kind that all the cows like. Oh my, isn't it INSANE what can happen in a summer? I can't even begin to tell you how I've been feeling. The sun does not shine bright enough to justify the vibrancy of a loving heart. I find myself in joyous disbelief at how good God is. He makes me smile. Jesus, wow. I just want to thank you for all that You're doing in my life this summer. You put all the right people in all the right places with just the right chemistry-for me to grow spiritually yet to have total fun. :) I love You, Jesus. With every breath that I take.
We don't live long enough to learn from all the mistakes we make.
God is good even when I don't like the sun. The sun should eat grass!!! Lots and lots of grass! The green kind. The kind that all the cows like. Oh my, isn't it INSANE what can happen in a summer? I can't even begin to tell you how I've been feeling. The sun does not shine bright enough to justify the vibrancy of a loving heart. I find myself in joyous disbelief at how good God is. He makes me smile. Jesus, wow. I just want to thank you for all that You're doing in my life this summer. You put all the right people in all the right places with just the right chemistry-for me to grow spiritually yet to have total fun. :) I love You, Jesus. With every breath that I take.
Christmastime Troubles
For some strange reason, I feel so hurt. Like I'm being punished for something I never did. Now I'm seriously trying hard to function as normally as possible and NOT act super melodramatic. Surprisingly, I've somehow managed to cry very little. I feel as if I cried as much as I really feel like crying, I would drown the whole world. Like everytime I think about what happened, or really what's going on, I get this weird heavy feeling in my chest, and it feels like I can't breathe, like I'm being suffocated by sadness and there is no remedy, but there is and I know it. And I need it. Desperately. I think the only reasons I'm still alive are because one, I'm scared out of my mind to ever attempt anything, and two, Jesus knows what's up. He knows I'm incredibly hurt. He knows He's the only real reason I'm trying not to be bitter. I don't think I'm angry or anything. I know I'm completely confused right now. David's Psalms never meant so much to me before. Well, I really wish a lot of things right now and I still don't know how I really feel or what I should do. But I do know: God's love is BETTER than life.
-The next night
It's cold out tonight. The sky is unbelievably clear. I can hear voices of loved ones and undertones of crickets chirping. In contrast to last night, I feel so strong, so empowered, so safe. I feel so loved. It's an incredible feeling knowing you are loved. Not only by people, although that is definitely wonderful, but also by an omniscient, omnipotent God. He's so awesome, no one and nothing will ever compare. Someone once told me that God is like the sun and everything else gets washed out in comparison to the sun's radiance. It's a glorious thing. There's another thing. You know what's pretty interesting? Flux. Change hurts a lot of the time, but in retrospect, it's totally...exciting? Ok, maybe not quite, but it surely keeps things from getting boring.
stuff from Dec '07
-The next night
It's cold out tonight. The sky is unbelievably clear. I can hear voices of loved ones and undertones of crickets chirping. In contrast to last night, I feel so strong, so empowered, so safe. I feel so loved. It's an incredible feeling knowing you are loved. Not only by people, although that is definitely wonderful, but also by an omniscient, omnipotent God. He's so awesome, no one and nothing will ever compare. Someone once told me that God is like the sun and everything else gets washed out in comparison to the sun's radiance. It's a glorious thing. There's another thing. You know what's pretty interesting? Flux. Change hurts a lot of the time, but in retrospect, it's totally...exciting? Ok, maybe not quite, but it surely keeps things from getting boring.
stuff from Dec '07
Such a Time as This
So recently I was talking to this lady who like is ill and all, and there was just something she said that really stuck out to me. She professes to be a Christian, so we were talking about God and church and things like that. Well, anyway, my mom said that she really believes that Jesus is the cure for people who suffer from disabilites and mental illness, and the lady was like, "I don't believe that. I KNOW it; I LIVE it." And I was like WHOA, because I know that Jesus is my healer, but I guess I never really knew how much that could really impact someone. She said that when she reads God's Word, spends time with Him, or when she listens to preaching, she can think clearly. Her questions are answered. She's free. She's free in God. So it really put things into perspective for me. It's like I take knowing Jesus Christ for granted or something; as if I don't realize how impacting being a child of God and having His grace truly is, and how much JUNK I've been saved from. It made me so thankful, and it really showed me how much God really, truly is our healer. Healing us from our sin. Our sicknesses. Our imperfections. I really do believe Jesus is the cure, especially for things like this. He is lifechanging, even for those we think are hopeless. No, wait. ESPECIALLY for those we think are hopeless. I don't really know if any of this made sense or not...but it was just...I dunno. just WOW.
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