Disappointment...

Have you ever looked forward to something for so long and then it turns out totally not how you were expecting it to be? Have you ever been really really excited for something and then a series of events just totally ruin the event?

Honestly, I feel like that right now. My heart is hurting so badly. I keep crying and crying and crying, but I know that I'm just being selfish and ungrateful. I just felt like a day that was supposed to be celebrating me turned into a day of...uneasiness and disappointment. I feel sick right now, like there's this aching in my heart...like an emptiness that I want to make go away so badly. I feel so broken and upset...and angry. I don't even remember the last time I felt this strongly about something...

I wish I could go back in time and just live last night all over again, but with a few things changed. I wish I could change things...Maybe then I wouldn't feel as stupid as I feel right now.