Testify.

I am Lydia's granddaughter. The spitting image of my father.  And when the day is done, my momma's still my biggest fan. Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy, but I've got friends that love me. And they know just where I stand. It's all a part of me and who I am. 

I love this song. I'm just not Rosemary's granddaughter. :)

Anyway, this day's been pretty rough. I don't even know where to begin. Sometimes it's sad that I'm so sentimental, but the memories I've got, they're good ones. They teach me a lot. My favorite quote is You live and you learn. Have I lived? Yes. Have I learned? Still in the process. This past week has taught me a lot. I've had moments full of laughter, joy and love and other moments full of tears, heartache, and disappointment, but through it all, God's been good. God's wisdom is so high above anything I could conjure up. His love for me even when I fail has been so overwhelming. It's been so humbling to see Him work in my life and in the lives of the people I love in huge ways. 

This summer has been a growing summer, that's for sure. The waves have been rough and uneasy, but God is my rock, my sure foundation in the midst of uncertainty. He stays the same in my ever-changing world. People dear to my heart can tell me that they love me, but their love, as mine too, is human love. It cannot fill up the emptiness in my God-shaped hole. It cannot quench the perpetual desire to be accepted for who I am, totally and completely. 

However. God's love can do all those things. God's love can do even more than that. God's love covers the most guilty sinner. God's love heals the most broken heart. God's love overwhelms the proud and humbles them to see His awe-striking glory. God's love brings together fellow Christians and keeps relationships together. God's love gets me through the day; all day, everyday.

"As long as I shall live, I will testify to Love." 

This next month is going to fly. Sure it'll be hard, but I have this feeling that it's going to go fast. All I want for God to do is to continue to break my foolish pride, to bring me on my knees everyday in awe of my great God, to show me great and mighty things, and to show me His glory. I want to learn a lot in these next weeks, so that when that day comes, I will be the Ruth Anne God wants me to be at that moment in time. I want to be all of me, a version of me I will be proud of. I want to stand there on that day knowing fully that it's God who's brought me that far, not anything that I nor anyone else has done. I want to be standing right in the center of God's will resting assured that this is exactly where He wants me to be doing exactly what I should be doing. 

I'm going to have to lay aside many weights, and it's going to hurt. Why? Because they are words, actions, thoughts, and longings that I've held close to my heart. They mean something to me. They give me comfort and hope when the world seems bleak and dreary. But that isn't what it should be. Jesus should be my all in all. My comfort when I'm hurting. My hope when I feel drained. My love when I feel forgotten. This is how I want it to be. So help me God.

So when I stop and remember all my fond memories of the past week: laughing deliriously in the wee hours of the morning, freaking out watching imaginary shadows creep across the lawn, getting all OCD about cleaning light fixtures, falling asleep to cutesy girly movies, munching on puppy chow :), having intense prayer sessions and oversleeping, and other things of the like. We probably don't need me to list out every little thing, as much as I'd like to. When I stop and remember, you know what I see? I see growing people. I see loved ones living in the light of God's glory. And you know what that does to me? It makes me want to stay there watching forever. What's the reality? Life goes on. But guess what? God's joy is more delightful than a good week with the two people that mean the most to me. What does that mean? It means that I don't have to physically be with you guys. Love transcends time and space. :) It means that God has a life for us to live and things He wants us to learn. If that makes any sense at all.

Thanks for a good week. Yes, even all the not so good stuff. 

You live and you l e a r n.