More thinking.

When I stay home all day, I tend to get stuck in a thinky mood.

I did grow up this summer. Actually, I grew up a lot. 

I've changed. I can feel it. When I hang out with friends like I normally do, I feel different.

Like, I am no longer the girl I was once. 

That sounds totally bad.

But it's not. 

Totally and completely not.

How? 

I don't know for sure. But I just have this deeper understanding of things.

What things?

Not too sure about that either. 

Maybe life in general?

Yeah, maybe that. 

Maybe.

When I look at people, they are no longer just people to me. They are stories. They are regrets. They are memories. They are what they are made of. 

Does that make sense?

I think maybe just to me. 

But I don't look at people the way I used to, with this faraway apathy, where I do want to get to know them, but I don't want to put the effort into tying heartstrings. 

Now I do. 

I don't think there's really anything on this level of life that I want more than to know people. Know what makes their hearts beat and break. Know what makes them happy. Know what they want in life. Know what they dream about when they sleep. Know what life means to them, who God is to them, things like that. 

I'm listening to Take Me There by Rascal Flatts. 

That's kind of what I mean, but not in a romantic way.

Take me there.

I want to know. I do. I really do. There is nothing more that I would love to do. I've already said that. :) But really. I want to hurt with people. I want to be happy with them. I want to walk life with people. 

I hope this makes sense, in a not-creepy way.

Oh, just for kicks, here's another one to follow-up on my last blog.

I don't understand how girls can grow up and not want a family. That's not me. I would love to grow up and do just that. I don't see anything more fulfilling than getting married and raising your kids to love Jesus. I would love to. That's so cool. That's what I mean by volunteering information. Oh yeah, here's another one. I answer for people. Somebody is talking to the person next to me, but I know the answer. I will totally answer the question, even though I wasn't even the one being talked to. Ok, I'm gonna go now. :) Before I write my whole autobiography. :D Hah!